First,by making a video to capture Kony he can be known easily.This criminal was in Uganda so koreans might not know easily. Showing movies, making video people can understand and people will think about him, some people enjoy watching movie so it can be known easily.
Next, when we use posters or banners people can see them easily on the street. Also I sometimes see posters, so when we past I can see it usually and its kind of advertisement.
We have to make this news bigger, larger and make lots of people know. When other people doesn't know Kony's criminal will be more badly.Some of them will disagree with my opinion there are several reasons . First, itmis not right yo use or make story about person when he or she did not sign up it is called the right of likeness infringement. So it is bad to use face outnbeing allowed to. So for this reasons some of people can think it is bas tomdo it.
In conclusion, we have to make Josep Kony famous by making video to capture by lots of reasons.
I think the letter font is a bit hard to read, so you should think about how the readers would be able to read it easily.
답글삭제The introduction is good but you should introduce who Kony is and include the video and then state your opinion. In an argumentative essay, you also need to include the opposing ideas and rebute them.
답글삭제Next time, put spaces between the paragraphs, use pictures and chose a font that is easier to read. You also need to work on your conclusion, add more details. Overall, the essay is too short. Keep trying!